To celebrate my recently granted dual-citizenship, i'm going to rant about English people.
I play 5-a-side / futsal / calcetto 3 times a week and I love football. I like the exercise too, but what I don't like is the retarded common English take on football. Sometimes it really is a test of nerve playing with these people. It's like playing with spastics. I've played in Italy, and everyone who sets foot on the pitch seems to perfectly understand a base set of rules. English people on the other hand, have a base level of ignorance.
- Marking: All you have to do is follow an opponent when your team doesn't have possession. If you happen to lose track of your man, then the team shuffles marker to accommodate.
- One-Two's: What do you not understand about following the guy who just made a quick pass and is making a quick run into space? Do you think he's merely trying to drag you with him? Do you not see that going 2-on-1 when the opponent can make a pass to his open teammate is fucking retarded?
- Tackling: Don't touch the attacker when you're trying to the ball from him. A tackle becomes a foul when you make contact to gain advantage over the ball. Don't even "put-your-foot-in" as a way to anticipate the movement. This is how people get injured (like your retarded Owen, Rooney, Beckham, etc.) It's simply not worth it.
- Passing: Pass on the floor. A bouncing pass needs 2-3 touches to put under control, by which time the opponent has closed in on your teammate. Put the extra fucking effort into making a good pass. It makes almost all the difference.
- Passing 2: You CAN pass backwards. Take your fucking blinkers off and look around yourself. Football is about identifying a player in space and giving him a good pass. String a few together and if you find yourself in front of goal, take a pop. You're not going to get raped in the showers by the team if you pass backwards.
- Passing 3: Passing the ball into the square of space either side of the goal IS NOT A LEGITIMATE FUCKING PASS. That area is the hardest spot to do ANYTHING with the ball, so avoid it! You are not exploiting anything.
- Passing 4: Don't be afraid to pass the simple pass. English people have a habit of picking the most difficult of available passes thinking it's the most rewarding. It's not. It's merely the harder pass to complete. Pass short and move to receive again, that's all it takes.
- Movement: Always move in a position to receive the ball from a pass. Always always always look for space. If you don't move, you wont get the ball.
/rant
I saw it happen to a few of my classmates. Of course, being a smart weasel, I made sure that I wouldn't copy any work from other sources (which would be easy to check using academic search engines) and just made up names and books and perspectives on the spot. I actually named one of the authors in my bibliography "J. Hetfield". 
Unless you're working in their specific field of expertise, professors really aren't going to take the time to plow through libraries full of academic works to find some obscure researcher on post-modern scifi. 
). Yeah...I'd make for a bad teacher.
